This fascinates me. You're living your not so exciting life and you make a conscious decision to go for something "more". But not just more of the same. No, I'm talking about MORE. More out there, more passion, more exciting, more adventurous, more alive! You feel it inside of you. Maybe it started as an innocent daydream, or you felt something nagging at you for your attention. In my case it was a full blown OMG aha moment that was so profound it left me determined to create a change.
But then, YIKES you have to actually take action! But you're determined. So you begin to face your fears. Because let's face it - if it wasn't scary you would have taken action a long time ago. But even though you feel fear, you also feel something so real, so strong, and well, so YOU, that it keeps pushing you forward. You face your fears and take a step, then face more fears and take another step, and so on until sooner or later it happens. Usually it happens right after you have taken a step. I don't experience it after every step, just some of them, and it always catches me off guard. I take one of these steps, successfully, and BOOM! All of a sudden I feel like I've left one reality and moved to another, or like I've changed lanes on the highway. Or like I'm living in a movie - same life but I'm someone else playing my role.
This sensation makes me feel so different that it can be very disconcerting, or disorienting. I start questioning - who AM I? and WHAT am I doing? Am I crazy? Have I lost it? Maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this. Maybe I was wrong to want MORE.......And then, you actually start to feel the pull of your "old life" and the safety in the familiarity of it all. Even the mediocrity and boring details can seem appealing to you. And you miss the "old you", the safe you, the predictable you.
Now, I always have those insecure thoughts when things don't work out. I'm used to that and know how to carry on and continue forward. But this feeling I'm talking about happens after taking a step successfully! After getting closer to my desired end result of what I want to create. And that 's the part that fascinates me! Sometimes getting what you want is even scarier than staying stuck in the same place forever. When you move towards what you want, you not only leave your comfort zone, but you actually step outside of your definition of yourself - the one that has unconsciously defined and limited you. One of my clients recently said to me, "I feel like I don't know who I am. And yet I feel more like me than I ever have!" EXACTLY! Your true and authentic you is not the you of your definitions. You are so much MORE than that! But your ego freaks out when you start to abandon it in favour of your authentic self. And it can start to tell you some crazy stuff in hopes of getting you back.
But don't run back to the old and familiar. Don't give in to all those old and limiting beliefs. Be aware of those negative voices, but don't believe them! Instead, try to hang out with and get to know the new you and the new path you're creating to what you would love. Even if it feels a bit awkward, keep focusing on your vision and keep backing it up with action. The results will be life changing!
I decided to write about this topic because the last time I experienced this sensation was just last week after I registered my domain and set up my hosting service for this website.
Suddenly there it was - I changed realities and I had my movie moment.
And then it started.....
What am I doing?????
Bye bye ego and old me.............